Wednesday, January 13, 2010

The SHOULDN'T be any question about priority

Yesterday was a rough day for me. Let me explain something about myself...I LOVE my job. I tend to over work myself because I refuse to lower the expectations I have of myself. This is true in all areas of my life, but for some reason I am having a really hard time balancing everything. WHY?

Why is it so hard for me to drop work and take a day off? Not just a day off to hang out and lay around the house...I would never do that....a day off for an extremely important reason. When my kids get sick, Brian takes off. LET ME EXPLAIN this, he is an elementary P.E. coach and he also loves his job, but there are THREE full-time coaches in the gym all day long at his school. When he has to take a day off, there are NO sub plans, planning meetings, ARDs, RTI, paperwork, student council meetings, class and staff pictures, etc. that he has to worry about making up. So the reality is that it is much EASIER for Brian to take off when the kids are sick than it is for me. THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT I AM HAPPY ABOUT THAT.

Last week, Brady was sick and had to miss school for 2 days, Brian was off both days. Yesterday, Canon had some kind of stomach bug and he started getting sick on Monday night. Brian took off and stayed with him yesterday. I was an emotional wreck. If anyone were to ask me about which of these two are of the higher priority, it is obviously my kids. The question I have is WHY? Why is it that I am not quicker to volunteer to take off when my babies get sick. I want to be the one to stay with them, to cuddle with them, make them soup, etc. Don't misunderstand my point...I absolutely love that Brian is as involved and loving towards our children as he is. He is a phenomenal daddy. BUT...I am not feeling like such a phenomenal mommy :(

Today is a new day, I am HOME! Brady was running fever last night and Canon is still trying to recouperate from the stomach bug that got him down. Today was going to be a CRAZY busy day at work, so many responsibilities to take care of, but I fought the battle in my mind and I won! (Well, with God's help, as he provided a great deal of clarity and strength!)

So today I am taking care of babies, catching up on laundry, blogging, praying, reading, studying, cuddling, and playing with 2 of the most precious people to me. It's a beautiful day because the Lord has blessed me today!

Praying for:
Canon to feel better, he is now complaining of his back hurting...I'm not sure what that is about.
Braydon to feel better and sleep...he is crying and crying and he doesn't even know what he wants.
Guidance to follow God's will and commandment.
Among many many other things!


  1. Oh my! I lived the battle you are describing for quite some time. On one hand, I tried to be the driven career person I had been before kids. On the other hand, I tried to be the perfect wife and Mommy. As for me, I could not pull it off.

    Don't beat yourself up - you are a wonderful Mommy. If you ever want to visit about this more, let me know. It is a tough topic for me... but a real one and one I'm very familiar with.

  2. Oh Laura...I would love to hear your thoughts on the issue. I am so torn up about the struggle of balance. Thanks for your comment!


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