Deep Breaths

As I sit here...reflecting on the day, the week behind me, the week ahead of me, and where I am at RIGHT NOW...I realize that sometimes I just need to take a deep breath. I allow myself to get so extremely busy, so busy that I forget to stop and breathe. The days start running together, the months go by so so fast and the years are getting shorter. So I ask myself, where has life gone? My baby is already 6 1/2 and almost finished with Kindergarten. My middle son is about to start Pre-K and my baby baby is already almost 2. Again, DEEP BREATH...it gets me emotional when I force myself to stop what I am doing and to take a look around only to realize that I have done it once again... "IT" being that I have been flying through life without stopping to take in every moment, every cute laugh, every innocent question or joke! So with this blog...I am once again REMINDING myself to slow down, to take a DEEP BREATH and to soak up every single moment like a sponge thirsting for water! Because, someday when I am living a slower life and every breath I take is a deep breath...I want to be sure to remember all the crazy moments that I had along the way. Thank GOD for all of the blessings and the amazing family he has given me. Thanking Him for the craziness and for all the busy things we have going one...thanking Him for every single minute of every single day! Thanking Him...because He chose me and loves me and is ALWAYS there for me...

Lessons Learned - Current Dealings - Things Accepted

IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER:

1. I was not raised around boys...and had no idea what my life would look like with three sons. 1 word - CRAZY!!! Why? Because boys are 100% a foreign creature to me!

2. Why boys are foreign: they are messy, they wrestle, they go outside and play really hard and then stink... bad (even at three years old - they smell, who would have ever thought!) They like video games and movies about turtles who fight and kids who are really good at karate. They start screaming at the top of their lungs the whole way home from daycare because they want a BALL - credit for this one goes to my 18 month old! They make sounds with their arm pits and then they laugh about how they can create a sound that is so similar to other bodily sounds that they also enjoy making in order to gross out their mommy. Goodness, there is so MUCH more! BUT...though boys are a creature that I may never COMPLETELY understand...one thing I do know is that they are absolutely positively precious, sweet, they can be gentle and they LOVE their mommy!

3. God blesses us with periods of waiting - for example, Just like in 1 Samuel 8:1-22 - wait for God's answer to your prayers...that way you are going down the path the He would have for you rather than making descisions based on your own desires.

4. BE PATIENT - In order to be able to WAIT, you must have patience. As I read in my daily devotional by Beth Moore, she says, "Often when God does not readily give us what we want, it is because He knows what our desire would cost us. FAITH sometimes means forgoing our desires because we trust Christ to have a better plan for our lives." - WOW...

5. Politics - Are dumb and frustrating

6. Security - a very valuable asset to have which may change at any point without warning - ex: Texas budget crisis = many changes and stress on our schools, jobs, students, teachers, lives, and FUTURE

7. If you don't actually speak up and voice your opinion - you can't complain when things don't go your way.

8. Sometimes people do things in life that upset you...you cannot control others and the choices they make...pray about it and turn it over to God! He will carry that burden for you...

9. Growing Up is hard to do... Raising Kids is hard to do... Why don't they have a manual for these things?

10. In the past year I have traveled out of the country 3 times to Honduras - a place that God has placed heavily on my heart - each time was a completely different experience and was blessed in totally different ways

11. That through all of these things...I know I am loved and wanted by my Lord and Savior

12. The priorities in life MUST go in this order - GOD, then Family, the career and life

13. Friends are very valuable and special...and the older I get the more I appreciate my true friends!

14. My children are growing faster than I could have ever imagine...and I am so fast paced that I have to constantly remind myself to slow down and enjoy each minute, memory, and experience.

15. That ACCOUNTABILITY partners are crucial to making it through each week! God never intended on us going through this life alone!

Oh, I know this is random...scattered...and ALL OVER the place...BUT, that is what my mind looks like when I wake up at 4:00a.m. and can't go back to sleep!!!

OH what a Happiness...I MEAN JOY!

As I am reflecting on the bible study that we had this evening with our small group, I decided to reread the first chapter of Philippians. So I began with the "Introduction" that my NIV Life Application Bible offers on the first page of Philippians.

It begins by saying that the WORD happiness brings us visions of various things in our minds such as unwrapping gifts on our birthdays or on Chirstmas morning, vacationing with our loved ones, etc. "EVERYONE wants to be happy; we make chasing this elusive ideal of a lifelong pursuit: SPENDING MONEY, collecting things, and searching for new experiences." (L.A.B.) - all of this in which I am envisioning in myself and thinking...so? Doesn't God want us to be happy and He blesses us with so much, right!?!

Then I read on..."But if happiness depends on our circumstances, what happens when the toys rust, loved ones die, health deteriorates, money is stolen, the newness wears off and the party's over?" - (UH OH...but don't we all see this in our own lives? In our friends' and families' lives?)

"In CONTRAST to happiness is JOY. Running deeper and stronger, joy is the quiet, confident assurance of God's love and work in our lives - that he will be there no matter what! Happiness depends on happenings, but JOY DEPENDS ON CHRIST." (L.A.B.)

Okay, so why am I writing a blog about THIS? Because, as I was reading this I had to stop and ask myself how am I living MY life? Am I "CHASING" happiness or am I focusing on the Joy that Christ brings to my life? Hmmm..

As a believer in my Lord and Savior I can have profound contentment, serenity, and peace...NO MATTER WHAT "happens". So if I am focusing on chasing my own happiness, I am depending on myself and my own strength in life, which isn't much might I add! If I am focusing on chasing the JOY in life, I am depending on HIS strenth instead of mine! *SIGH*

Now, as I am sinking lower on my couch in shame...over our purchase of a silly camera that I "HAD to have" and I was so "HAPPY" when we got it, I chased happiness so fast and so far that it ended up RIGHT on the credit card. WHICH, doesn't God want us to NOT be in debt? UGH, then today I realize that I wouldn't have "needed" that camera had I been focused on the fact that God calls us to find Joy in Him and that in order to have that, I need to not rely on what I have or what happens to me, but on Christ within me!!! In other words, the old camera would have worked just fine if I had stayed focused on finding Joy in Christ...not happiness in a toy from my favorite electronics toy store.

Okay, just a personal confession that I am NOT focused on living my life in all areas on my Lord and Savior, and if I were...then THAT is where my contentment would come from!

As a side note, I do not think it's bad to be excited and happy over purchases and gifts...as long as that is not where your source of happiness in life comes from. The JOY in your life MUST come from God! Through Him ALL things are possible...even the most unimaginable, most ideal life situations are ONLY possible...through Him!

Oh goodness...and I haven't even started with Philippians Chapter 1 yet!!!