Adoption - WHAT, WHAT IS THIS!?! I NEED TO ASK BIG!

Brian and I have talked about adoption for a really long time, since we were dating (10 years ago). Then, as I have blogged about in the past, Brian's brother and his wife (famous blogger, Whitney from "Our Hearts are in Ethiopia") adopted our precious nephew last December (2009), this has been something even closer to our hearts. They began their adoption process in January of 2009 and we were fortunate enough to witness their experience first hand! WHAT A BLESSING THAT WAS! On December 19, 2009, I knew for sure that our lives would never be the same! SEE PREVIOUS POST

NOW...
Adoption is definetely weighing heavily on the heart. WHY? I know this isn't something we can do realistically right now...it is so expensive, and we do not have the money for something like this...our children are so young and we have so many bills...what about time off, time for bonding, time for travel...BUT...I KNOW this is something that I feel called to, something that is deep in my heart...so what is it that I REALLY KNOW and what am I going to do about it? (If this seems confusing to you...imagine what it's like in MY head!!!) I can tell you ONE thing I KNOW without a DOUBT. GOD AND ONLY GOD KNOWS.

So I ask myself..."Who are YOU to be questioning what God has put on your heart? Who are you to doubt the timing of anything that God calls you to?" I am but a mere human who is trying desperately to do things right. No, I'm nowhere near where I am striving to be - "CHRIST-LIKE", but the effort is there...so what am I going to do about these emotions and this love for adoption on the forefront of my heart, my soul, my mind?

SO now I ask "WHAT" and "WHY?"

These are the questions of the hour! I've been catching up on reading some blogs and I decided to do some research! I learned that in 2009, only 4 adoptions were completed from Honduras to the United States. In 2008, there were 11 and in 2007 there were 22. Can you believe that??

Of course I feel pulled to Honduras, because I have been called there to serve and do missions. I pray that the opportunities to do this never cease! (A whole different topic to be discussed in a future blog, I'm sure!) BUT, as you can see from the numbers...this isn't a common place for international adoptions. So I am left to pray, to listen, and to study...God will show me when He is ready. God will lead me when it is time. I pray that I am strong enough to hear Him and to Follow Him NO MATTER where He leads me.

Our pastor has been preaching a series titled "ASKING BIG"! It is about how we pray to God, and what we should be praying for. Some questions that we have been asked are:

1. What are you going to spend the rest of your life doing? (your plan?, God's plan?, Are you sure that your plan IS God's plan?)

2. We have been urged to "GET DEEP with GOD!"

3. Are you doing what you were created to do?

4. Are you asking about the BIG things in life?

Luke 11:9-10 say, "So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."

So....ASK, SEEK, KNOCK, REPEAT!!!!

I know that there is MUCH rambling taking place here, so in conclusion...I am praying and I am going to be ASKING BIG!!!!!

1 Corinthians 12 - Spiritual Gifts

A few weeks ago at church, the message mentioned "Spiritual Gifts." Our paster, mentioned that if we hadn't read 1 Corinthians 12 that we should. So over the next week I read the chapter several times. As I sit and reread the chapter again, with the goal of really letting that chapter settle in my heart, several things come to mind. In recent posts, I share thoughts and issues that have been weighing heavily on my heart. Primarily missions and adoption. Even though these are two very different callings, I think that for some they go very well together.

1 Corinthian 12:4-6 (NIV) 4) There are different kinds of gifts, but the same spirit. 5) There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. 6) There are different kinds of working , but the same God works all of them in all men.

Now, I know that God has called me into "TEACHING," and this has been something I have consumed myself in. I love to teach, I love to instill a passion for learning in children. I am still very new in this field, as this is my 4th year to teach. However, could I be getting called to "TEACH" more, reach out to more children, share my love and knowledge with children who aren't given this opportunity by their society or their environment, their country? I believe that this is where verses 5 and 6 come in. To share this service with others, to work in a world that is foreign to me, but to children who need to hear about God? Children who will never hear the Lord's word unless Christians (like me) step out into their world, an uncomfortable zone, make sacrifices, and serve God in this way?

Now, I have been asking God to prepare me and to ready me for my journey to Honduras during Spring Break. I am ecstatic to be able to join Alex and Laura on this short-term mission trip. They will be moving there this year to do long-term mission work in the orphanages in Puerto Lempira. I am so extremely blessed that the Lord is guiding me through this time. I am blessed to be able to join this effort even for just a short time. I pray that God can utitilize me to do what I can from here at home. I know that my eyes have been opened, but only to a degree. There is so much that I haven't seen, haven't thought about, haven't realized.

I pray that God uses me, uses my gifts and talents, and that I can make a difference even if just a tiny one to even one person. I commit myself to using what God has given me, in addition to my gifts, I will use my knowledge of education and of children to do what I can in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. There are so many countries in this world, with people who are lost, who will never hear about JESUS.

Could all of this have to do with my calling? Could all of this be leading me to where God has planned for me to be from before my existence? Through prayer, study, and time, I am confident that God will show me and guide me in the right direction.

My Extremely TRANSPARENT Ramblings of my Transformation Timeline - 2009

December 2008 - Aaron and Whitney decide to begin the adoption process through All God's Children.
*During this time, Brian and I are attending church and going about our church routine on Sundays, and then busy as ever during the week. I was pregnant with Braydon and we were running wild through Brian and Mason's soccer schedules.

May 20, 2009 - My adorable nephew (Mekele) was born, however, none of us knew what was to come in just a few short months. We were all completely unaware of who he was, where he was, or how he would come to play such an important role in so many lives.

June 2009 - Mason had his 3rd surgery for his cleft. (For those of you who do not know, Mason was born with a unilateral cleft lip and bilateral cleft pallate.) This was such a trying time because for this surgery Mason was semi-aware of what was going on. The mistake I made was that I didn't turn to my Lord Jesus Christ like I should have. I tried to take this one on by myself and I actually wondered to myself why it was so hard...silly to think back about this. (I WAS raised in the church, I had already committed by life to Christ, I had accepted him as my savior, I even knew what God was capable of...yet ignorantly it didn't occur to me that He can pull me through ANY and EVERYTHING, including this.) The reason for this surgery was because his nasal cavity was collapsing and he couldn't breathe correctly. 5 days after Mason's surgery (they had to do a nasal and lip reconstruction) he fell and busted his face, which did mess up a portion of the correction part of the surgery...which means that there will be another surgery sooner than if he had't decided to flip over the side of the chair and bust his nose on the floor.

July 6, 2009 - Braydon Jacob was born to us...I realized that it is a WHOLE NEW BALLGAME WITH 3 BOYS!!! Throughout my pregnancy, I thought that I was so disappointed that I wasn't having a girl...and then realized that all boys can be a blast! But...then months later I now have a outlook on this too!! Who knows, MAYBE God didn't give me a biological little girl because he knew that I would be answering his call to pull me into the missions and adoption worlds. MAYBE I have a little girl out there somewhere!!! Who knows!!

July 2009 - I think Braydon was 2 weeks old - Pin Oaks Christian Fellowship hosted their first Vacation Bible School - CHANGED OUR LIVES
In the Fall of 2008 - Brian and I chose to explore various church options with the hopes of finding a stable and engaging youth program for the boys. We had been attending church all along, but had not yet found a church home that we felt fit the entire family. Then Aunt Whitney told us about how POCF was having their VBS. Brian and I decided we should take Mason to this, it would help get him out of the house and it would be a great experience for him! It was his FIRST VBS ever...and BOY are we glad we did that! The experience for Mase was phenomenal. Mason was excited about church, he was making friends, he actually opened up a little bit, and he asked us if we could always go to this "new church". The "light" that we saw in our young 4 year old's eyes instantaneously made the decision for Brian and I - from that point on we would attend Pin Oaks Christian Fellowship.
--------Brian and I have stayed true to this decision even though we were thrown through the wringer here at home throughout the entire Fall of 2009.

September 2009 - My eyes began to open for what seemed like the first time in a REALLY long time! My sister-in-law, Whitney, called me one afternoon extremely pumped up and in tears of joy exclaiming that after the long process throughout the year 2009, they had finally had a referral and they had been matched with the boy who would hopefully soon be their son. I don't remember exactly what I was doing at that moment, but I do know that I became extremely emotional and aware of various aspects of the adoption process that I had not been aware of prior to this day. I didn't get the whole story over the phone but Aaron and Whitney came over that evening. (This is when the seed was planted and I began to have thoughts that I considered to be ludicrous and unrealistic for myself, which now I know that I was insane for not trusting these thoughts as God working in my, softening me up to new possibilities!) As was to be expected, Whitney and I were extremely emotional over the fantastic news of the placement of baby A into the Pratt family! Brian and I were extremely blessed to have them share their baby's story with us and to be able to begin praying for this specific little angel whom we couldn't wait to meet!

Sept. - November 23, 2009 - The fall semester was challenging for Brian and I. I had strep throat every other weekend for 10 weeks. If you look for a blessing inside these months...aside from the many many daily blessings that the Lord gives us...I ended up only being sick from Friday - Mondays...I didn't have to take a single sick day due to the strep crisis! With 3 babies under 5, I always feel like I can't afford to take a sick day for myself.
After missing a ton of church, but watching Brian gain more and more of a comfort level within our church...he got to where he would take all 3 boys to church by himself. And, not only on Sunday mornings...he attended a chili cook off with our 3 rugrats in tow...and me in bed once again trying to beat the infection.
November 21 - My little sister got married to her amazing husband!
November 23 - I had my tonsils taken out...WHOA!! That is the most painful experience I have ever had! Can you believe this though: I still tried to do most of this on my own!

Intermission: Now, when I say that I tried to do these things on my own, without God...I still said my daily prayers, but I never thought to ask for help! Seems so idiotic to me now!! Now, I still thought about how amazing things were for Aaron and Whitney and their new baby! They passed court and they waited for their travels dates.

December 2009 - Aaron and Whitney began their travels on the 8th - met their angel on the 13th, got delayed and missed their expected arrival time on the 18th and finally made it home on the 19th. Now...here is where things go BIG...for me (this is so bizarre because of how this was so NOT about me or my family...but it impacted me so deeply...just a great example of how God works in our lives). During the time that they were gone, I thought about it constantly...I was so worried about them when they were delayed on the 18th. That might have something to do with my need to know what is going on all the time!! (J/K...I just get so irritated when things are communicated to Brian and then he can't remember exactly what was said!!! We laugh about it now!) So on Friday night at 9:45, I was on the computer looking up flight information that we were HOPING that A & W with M would be coming in on, I was on the phone with Brian who was at his dad's house and they were talking. I got a beep and I told Brian to hang on...I thought it might have been someone in Whitney's family or from church, curious about the arrival times for the following morning. I clicked over and it was Whitney and she was letting me know that they had arrived in New York City!!!!!!!! Of course I started bawling my eyes out...like a child!!! She was trying to give me as much information as she could about their arrival the next morning, about their beautiful new baby boy, Mekele, and about their trip. Of course there wasn't enough time...but what I did have time for was to actually STOP and recognize the work of God that was taking place. This is when I acknowledged what was transpiring within myself.

The next morning, this is when it ALL wrapped itself up and became the "slap" in the face that I needed to get my priorities in order. I wrote about the morning of the arrival of my nephew Mekele in a previous post.

God does not do things "by chance." He has it all planned out, things don't happen on accident. I met with an amazing woman this past Wednesday and let me tell you...I firmly believe that God brings people together FOR A REASON. Something that I acknowledged and was reminded of at this get together with Laura is that God doesn't waste anything. People have certain knowledge, training, experience, and passions...they are given to us for a reason. Everyone is given a gift, (1 Corinthians 12) - in my last post I discussed how I plan on changing my life to make a difference...and I am proud to say that I am ALREADY seeing changes in my life, my family, my relationship with God, etc.

I have stayed true to my goals so far...and now that 2010 is upon us...there's no telling what will happen, not that I have acknowledged God's love and the amazing things that can happen when I open myself up to actually HEAR what he is saying to me.

I am thankful for my parents for raising me with God in our home, with the stability of church, and for modeling Christian choices and behavior. I am blessed with my family (Brian, Mason, Canon, and Braydon), they are truly a phenomenol team to have behind me. I value my friendships, including the old ones that continue to get stronger, and the new ones that are to special to my heart and I pray they continue to grow and strengthen and continue on for years and years to come!

Now, as I am heading into this new year...I have a mission, a mission for my life and a mission to impact others' lives. As my friend, Laura says, ONE CHILD AT A TIME. I am going to Honduras in March during Spring Break this year...I am praying that God utilizes my gifts and talents, my love for people...especially children; my love of education, and my desire to make a difference. Please pray for my journey as I know that this will not be a 1 TIME mission...I pray that the missions becomes a significant part of my life...something that NEVER ends.

As I was browsing through various blogs today, I found this video on my friend Laura's blog! It surprised and amazed me! I thought I would share...thanks for visiting!

The Christmas Holiday

As amazing and wonderful as Christmas always has been for our family, this year was no different. However, the major difference this year is that I have had my head in other places. I have mentioned numerous times to friends and family that I feel like I have been living my life in a TUNNEL. I have been aware but also extremely oblivious to the lives of God's children all over the world. As I am proudly watching the joy and excitement in my boys' eyes as they are experiencing the traditions of Christmas morning and unwrapping all their gifts...I am wondering to myself how many children across the world are not celebrating the birth of Christ. There are so many children across the world who have never received a gift on Christmas day or who have never heard the TRUE reason why we celebrate Christmas.

I can't help but think that God has been directly telling me that he has bigger plans for our family and I have a lot to do to prepare myself for our future. I don't think that we will be making any life-changing decisions in the near future. However, the weight of the emotions and thoughts that I have been having leads me to believe that I can start working towards supporting various families in missions and children who need love and care.

There are so many areas that I can help in from here, I just need some direction and guidance for delivery. When these thoughts first came to me back in September, and then multiplied by thousands on Dec. 19th, I thought that God was opening my heart only toward adoption. I believe that adoption is something that God is opening our hearts to and that it will come to us in the future. (As sad as it is, financially there are so many restraints that keep many families from opening their hearts and home to adoption. For our family, we are no different than everyone else! However, we are striving to overcome this obstacle so that we will be in a position to adopt in the next few years. Though the thing about life with God is that His plan may be completely different than ours! I am anxiously waiting to see what door He opens next for our family!)

In addition to adoption, I am feeling pulled towards the world of missions. This started when having a conversation with Laura from church! Alex and Laura are moving their family (4 beautiful children) to Honduras in the late Spring. I can't wait to learn more about their mission work and the plans that they have for their work and for their family! In addition to Laura's story, I have found numerous blogs of families who have committed their lives to missions world-wide. I would love to devote my time to gathering donations and supplies, and to spend time in prayer for these families who are making such a huge difference to people who would have never heard thee word of God if it weren't for them. I wonder where God is going to lead our family in the years to come!

Now, even as my head was swarming with all of the thoughts and wonders...we did have a very blessed Christmas! We are so lucky to provide for our children and to be close enough to all of our family so that we can enjoy their wonderful company during the holidays! Christmas is exhausting but only because of all the family we go to see and the meals we get to eat, and the gifts that we are fortunate enough to share and receive from our family and friends. This is all a wonderful problem to have, I just wish that we could make sure that we all remember the WHY in the day! It is easy to forget the WHY when you are running from house to house!!!

Thank you to all of our family for the amazing gifts and love that you have extended to us this year. We pray that everyone has a fantastic New Year! I will soon be posting our family resolutions...we will be sitting down and setting some goals as a family that we are going to try and work towards in 2010!