Adoption - WHAT, WHAT IS THIS!?! I NEED TO ASK BIG!

Brian and I have talked about adoption for a really long time, since we were dating (10 years ago). Then, as I have blogged about in the past, Brian's brother and his wife (famous blogger, Whitney from "Our Hearts are in Ethiopia") adopted our precious nephew last December (2009), this has been something even closer to our hearts. They began their adoption process in January of 2009 and we were fortunate enough to witness their experience first hand! WHAT A BLESSING THAT WAS! On December 19, 2009, I knew for sure that our lives would never be the same! SEE PREVIOUS POST

NOW...
Adoption is definetely weighing heavily on the heart. WHY? I know this isn't something we can do realistically right now...it is so expensive, and we do not have the money for something like this...our children are so young and we have so many bills...what about time off, time for bonding, time for travel...BUT...I KNOW this is something that I feel called to, something that is deep in my heart...so what is it that I REALLY KNOW and what am I going to do about it? (If this seems confusing to you...imagine what it's like in MY head!!!) I can tell you ONE thing I KNOW without a DOUBT. GOD AND ONLY GOD KNOWS.

So I ask myself..."Who are YOU to be questioning what God has put on your heart? Who are you to doubt the timing of anything that God calls you to?" I am but a mere human who is trying desperately to do things right. No, I'm nowhere near where I am striving to be - "CHRIST-LIKE", but the effort is there...so what am I going to do about these emotions and this love for adoption on the forefront of my heart, my soul, my mind?

SO now I ask "WHAT" and "WHY?"

These are the questions of the hour! I've been catching up on reading some blogs and I decided to do some research! I learned that in 2009, only 4 adoptions were completed from Honduras to the United States. In 2008, there were 11 and in 2007 there were 22. Can you believe that??

Of course I feel pulled to Honduras, because I have been called there to serve and do missions. I pray that the opportunities to do this never cease! (A whole different topic to be discussed in a future blog, I'm sure!) BUT, as you can see from the numbers...this isn't a common place for international adoptions. So I am left to pray, to listen, and to study...God will show me when He is ready. God will lead me when it is time. I pray that I am strong enough to hear Him and to Follow Him NO MATTER where He leads me.

Our pastor has been preaching a series titled "ASKING BIG"! It is about how we pray to God, and what we should be praying for. Some questions that we have been asked are:

1. What are you going to spend the rest of your life doing? (your plan?, God's plan?, Are you sure that your plan IS God's plan?)

2. We have been urged to "GET DEEP with GOD!"

3. Are you doing what you were created to do?

4. Are you asking about the BIG things in life?

Luke 11:9-10 say, "So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."

So....ASK, SEEK, KNOCK, REPEAT!!!!

I know that there is MUCH rambling taking place here, so in conclusion...I am praying and I am going to be ASKING BIG!!!!!

Oh Blog, Oh Blog, where have thou been!?!

WOW, I made a promise to myself that I would catch up on so much blogging this summer, and did it happen....well obviously no! BUT, now that school is back in and I have a bazillion things to do each day, maybe I shall try this again! How odd that I think I will all of a sudden have more time now, BUT I feel a part of myself is clogged when I don't get to release it into a blog or journal or something!! (okay, that may be a little dramatic!)

There are so many things, and since my intention is not to write a novel, I will make a list!

- Yes, school is back in and life has been back to it's crazy old self! We were terrified that Brady would have a touch time adjusting to daycare again, but he had SUCH a smooth transition! We are thankful for that!

- I am coordinating a trip back to Puerto Lempira, Honduras in November and I am thrilled beyond belief to go back! There are 8 of us going in 75 DAYS! 3 of us were on the Spring Break 2010 trip, but that means that there are 5 NEW travelers! I am so excited to get there I can't stand it!

- I miss Puerto Lempira, Honduras so much, which is crazy because I haven't spent that much time there, I haven't spoken to anyone there since we've been back, what is this draw that I feel? What is this obsession bordered pull to want to be there? What is God's call for me in missions? There are so many questions with unknown answers, but something I know for sure is that this is a part of my life that will forever be changed! I am not getting any answers to these questions right now, but I will continue to try and respond and answer when God calls!

- My dear friend Laura, posted an extremely interesting blog that I encourage you to read if you have time, The World is Our Classroom "Perspectives". Laura's blog is about there journeys and experiences as they have just recently picked up their entire family and move to Honduras in response to God's call on them to serve Him!

- My oldest son, Mason has started Kindergarten and is loving school!

- My middle son, Canon refuses to be potty trained...he turned three about a month ago and he isn't potty trained. UGH! So I bought a "Potty Basket" full of goodies that he gets to choose from when he goes potty! No, I am not above bribing my 3 year old.

- I realize how "out of touch" with the world you can get without a computer in the house. How sad is that!?! My computer broke a couple of weeks ago and I have had to do all my email and facebook on my phone...which YES is awesome and YES is doable, but NO is not ideal and it takes so long! Then I think about the family who lives in the third world country (PICK ONE, there are plenty) who is riding a moped (4 people at the same time) through a crowded dirt street, wearing rags and are covered in dirt, and they are smiling. They are happy with the blessing that they have transportation, that they are all together. (My friend Shana just went on a cruise and was telling me this story about how they saw this scene at one of their stops. It is a typical scene from anywhere in the world, and is a very important topic for a future blog). POINT BEING - I need to get over myself and my frustration of not having a new, reliable computer. I need to be thankful for the blessings that I have been given and for a God who loves me! A God who also loves that precious family who probably has nothing, but they are smiling and they are together.

- I am starting my YouVersion plan again, because I didn't complete it the first time...I have decided to read The Gospels in 30 days, I'll keep you updated on that!

Okay, well there are plenty of other things to touch on, but I figure I could do a part 2 soon!!! Plus, I have some blog reading to catch up on!

Love to all!